Player safety
Characters may put their lives on the line and face mortal peril at every turn, but players should always feel safe at your table.
What happened at an RPG during the UK Games Expo this year set me thinking about issues of player safety and what was and wasn't okay to explore in RPGs. I didn't want to add to the noise or the misreporting (sadly frequent) of what happened and I wanted to take some time to think about them clearly before commenting.
Note that this post contains potentially triggering topics.
The TL;DR
UKGE handled the recent issue well
GMs, you're in charge; set the tone and shut down bad behaviour
Lines and veils for every game, especially with new players
Provide an emergency exit
Conventions are public, so be cautious
For the record and in case you aren't aware of what happened the official statement form UKGE can be read here.
The way the Expo team handled the issue was great and I congratulate them for reacting so well.
They were clear about what had happened, what action they'd taken immediately and the actions they were planning to take moving forwards.
More than this though they responded quickly and decisively. Too often I've seen the response to issues like this be to question if it happened, asking what exactly was said, wringing hands about intent and frankly having more concern for the offender than the victim. That or treating it like Missing Stairs.
I love that the organisers sent such a clear signal that they want the UKGE to be a safe space.
The GM's game
As GM you're not responsible for someone acting inappropriately, but there's a bunch of things you can do to prevent, stop or exclude someone who does, choosing not to is your decision.
The first thing you can do is set the tone. This starts as a game begins or when any new player joins. Be it a one shot adventure, a short scenario or a longer campaign, setting the tone will help prevent or avoid issues down the road. Lines and veils are a great way to frame this discussion which I'll talk about in a moment.
The second is to stop the behaviour when you see it. The reality is that as GM you're the authority figure at the table, you govern the rules and how the game progresses. When you ignore a racist remark or let the lewd comment pass without censure you're not just being passive, you're making a statement that such behaviour is okay.
Your response doesn't have to be a huge confrontation, a simple statement that you don't want that in your game is enough. Don't get into a discussion about what was said, if they meant it that way, if you're being too sensitive or trying to protect person x (who will then almost certainly be called on to confirm they don't mind). None of that really matters, just ask the player not to do it again.
The third option, excluding a player, is the one that's toughest because asking someone to leave the game can often have wider impacts. I wouldn't jump to this as an option, but often the choice is between excluding the problem player and upsetting them, or allowing them to continue hurting other players and possibly encouraging the behaviour from the rest of the table.
The question for me is simple: is letting player A continue to behave this way (because I will have called them on it multiple times) more important than stopping the pain they're causing the other players and the toxic environment they're creating? The answer is always no.
Characters should be in danger, not players...
Lines and Veils
I would recommend having a discussion about lines and veils before every game starts and whenever a new player joins. You can never be sure something hasn't changed, even for a friend you know well, and repeating this exercise reinforces the kind of environment you want for your games.
For those unfamiliar with the phrase 'Lines' are topics that you agree not to approach in the game. While they might happen somewhere in the world it's agreed not have them in the game or to discuss directly.
'Veils' are topics we might approach but won't discuss in detail, they happen "off screen" as it were. The most common example is in films when a couple move into a bedroom and the camera pans to the fireplace before fading to black. Shawshank Redemption (my favourite film) does something similar on a much darker topic when Morgan Freeman's character says:
I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy-tale world
Red
Sometimes things I thought were innocuous come up during these discussions like spiders, clowns or confined spaces. Other times it's clear there's a personal issue when it's items like car crashes, cancer or the death of relatives. Then there's the ones I almost always bring up myself; sex, sexual violence, LGBTQIA+ phobias, racism and paedophilia.
I use the term 'almost always' because I'm not perfect and sometimes I forget or don't mention something, but also because I don't think these things must always be off the table.
Films like Sleepers, American History X, Brokeback Mountain, Philadelphia and many others are important explorations of the issues they cover. I don't think it speaks less of an actor because they took the role of an antagonist, likewise I think you can role play things without being insensitive to an issue. That said you should ensure any players are very aware of where the story may go before they have to face it.
Emergency Exits
You should also consider providing an emergency exit. There's a lot of jokes made about in flight safety briefings, but they tell you where the exits are so that, when you're stressed and not necessarily thinking clearly, the information is already there.
For similar reasons it's worth telling players its okay to recognise when a topic is getting too much for them, or triggering them even if they hadn't expected or been aware of it before the game.
Not only does this make it easier for the person affected to call your attention to the issue, but it also sets the tone that each player is respected and should be cared for.
At my tables we usually use a raised hand as a signal that something is making a player uncomfortable. It's rare, but when it happens everyone understands we need to step (and stay) away from that topic and I'll usually call for a break claiming I need the bathroom.
Conventions are public spaces
Returning to the issue that started this I thought I'd mention this separately because running convention games puts them in a very different context.
I haven't always been as cautious in con games with the topics I cover in a game or as meticulous about ensuring darker themes are well sign-posted. If you've been in one of my games and been upset, you have my unreserved apology and a plea to bear with me, challenge me and help me be better; I'm trying to learn all the time.
Con games are played with people you don't know, which can be thrilling as you take new people on a wonderful ride through your imagined world. With that comes the reality that you don't know them or what their experiences are. I can't imagine you GM with the intent to hurt people (if you do please never GM again) and a little caution may help someone remember your game with joy, rather than with pain.
Cons games are also usually in a space that anyone who attends the con can enter or overhear; or most likely both. This means cons games are effectively public and I'll bet you can think of several examples of things most people might do in private that it's not okay if they do it in public.
In your prep be careful, if you're in any doubt you probably shouldn't put it in the game. On the table; discuss limits at the start, provide an emergency escape, manage your game, but of course have fun!
